


Focus

by aj_linguistik



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), ソードアート・オンライン - 川原礫 | Sword Art Online - Kawahara Reki
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Drunk Dancing, Drunk kiss, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Roommates, Sharing a Room
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2020-11-22 06:30:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20869739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aj_linguistik/pseuds/aj_linguistik
Summary: He's been dreaming of going to college for a long time, and finally! He has the chance! A big scholarship lands in Eugeo's lap, giving him the chance to get away from his family's farm and pursue the degree of his dreams. He knows he needs to focus in order to stay on top of things and not get sent home, but his roommate proves to be extremely distracting...in the attractive sort of way.





	1. The Roommate

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: And finally, on my journey to force all of my floating ideas onto AO3 for the push to write them- we have the "oh my god they were roommates!" AU I was actually planning for SAO Pride Week. "What! That long?!" Yeah. Not as long as "Memories for Sachiko" but still. I have no idea how I do this. Send help. I hope this one's not so angsty though haha.

There are a lot of emotions when you take a step as big as college. I mean, you’re finally a legal adult, you have no curfew, you have higher education right here, classes aren’t all day long, and your freedoms and obligations have all changed in a single moment. It’s really daunting, and I think most parents really want their kids to go to college, you know? Well. Not mine.

We’re a farming family from the middle of nowhere. So, they were expecting me to go into farming as well. I was the last kid to graduate high school, so they’d have all four kids helping out around the farm without school to interrupt them—or so they thought. I came home after school one day extremely excited. I’d been offered a huge scholarship to go and study at a big university, where I could finally get into my dream field: history.

They were crushed. Which, I’m going to have to be honest here, really did hurt. This was my dream. I love history. Getting a degree in it and seeing where history can take me in life—that’s what I’ve always wanted. And most of my friends were going to college anyways. I didn’t want to be stuck here with my siblings tilling until my hands bled. So, I put my foot down. I was going whether they liked it or not.

Thus, here we were, standing outside of the building that was going to be my temporary home for the next year. My parents helped me grab some boxes and we climbed up the stairs into the dorm. When I opened the door, it was obvious my new roommate was already moved in, but he was nowhere to be seen. We hurriedly got all of the boxes up in the room and I stood down in front of my parents’ car, awkwardly dragging my shoe on the sidewalk.

“You’re sure about this?” my dad said, sighing.

I nodded.

“I promise I’ll make you proud,” I said.

It felt like something you were supposed to say to a parent who was unsure about you going to college. He sighed and forced a smile. My mother started crying. Something about her baby boy going far away from home. I glanced in the back seat of the van. One of my brothers stuck his tongue out and gave me the finger while the other one laughed. My sister reached over and smacked the one who was laughing.

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call,” my dad said.

“Yeah, of course,” I said.

Our good-bye was an awkward one. I watched them drive off down the road, likely all ready to be out of the city. I turned back to my dorm and took a deep breath. It was time to go unpack everything. I marched back up the stairs, putting my unhappy family behind me, and told myself that I needed to focus on what was ahead of me. Smiling to myself, I opened the door to my room and stepped inside.

As soon as I opened the door, I saw a flash of black roll off of the top bunk and slam into the floor. The unlucky rollover victim yelped and remained still on the floor. I hurried over to check and see if they were okay.

“You startled me.”

I blinked down. A hand shot up in my direction.

“Kirigaya Kazuto, freshman. Your roommate.”

Frowning, I grasped his hand and shook it a little.

“Eugeo von Rulid,” I said, unsure of how else to respond.

He picked himself up off of his face and smiled at me.

“Do you like the top bunk?” he asked. “I keep trying to see if I can stay up there, but I keep falling back down.”

I blinked at him.

“Uh, sure, I’ll take the top bunk,” I said. “Have you been doing that the entire time I’ve been moving things into the room?”

He nodded.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to bother you, but if I keep this up, I’m going to get a concussion,” he said, sighing. “Did you want some help unpacking things?”

I frowned. I didn’t want to make him do any work he didn’t have to. He already seemed to have his things unpacked, so it was unfair to make him unpack even more. Because I hesitated, he walked over to one box and took it upon himself to just open it up.

“Are these history books?” he asked. “You gonna be a history major?”

Ignoring the fact that he’d just opened my box, I felt a small smile tug at my lips.

“Yep,” I said. “What about you? What field do you want to go into?”

He flashed me a big grin.

“Computer engineering, computer science, mechatronics—that sorta stuff,” he said.

Ah, so he was a techy person. I nodded awkwardly and showed him a few boxes that were okay to unpack. I didn’t want him touching things like my underwear or toiletries, so I set him to deal with desk items. He seemed more than happy to do it. He told me his mom had insisted she unpack his things, so he was more than happy to help me out.

“Say, where are you from?” I asked.

“Tokyo, Saitama Prefecture,” he said. “Is my English that bad?”

I shook my head.

“No, no, your English is very good!” I said. “I grew up in a small rural area, so I wasn’t familiar with your accent. What made you want to come all the way over here to go to college? That’s really far.”

He shrugged, picked up one of my books, squinted at the title, and then shelved it.

“This school had a really good program for VR tech,” he said. “My uncle works over here, so it wasn’t too much trouble to move me over here for four years.”

“Right, so, Kirigaya—”

“Please, just call me Kazuto,” he said. “We’re friends now, right?”

I nodded.

“Um, yeah!” I said.

I guess that made sense. He was certainly a funny character.

“Have you tried to get food at the dining hall yet?” I asked. “I don’t want to go alone for my first time.”

Kazuto smiled at me.

“Great idea!” he said. “Let’s go get food!”

Before I knew what was happening, my new roommate grasped my hand and whisked me out of the room, barely giving me time to snatch up my keys and student ID card. College was off to an interesting start already, and I wasn’t even in class yet.


	2. Country Boy Meets University

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I realized while writing this that I'm kinda projecting myself onto Eugeo. It oddly worked well to think of him going to college the same way I remember entering college. Hmm.

Overwhelmed is a bit of an understatement. My little hundred-person religious private academy I’d had no other choice but to attend had a small cafeteria area that maybe sat twenty people at max capacity. It didn’t need to accommodate more than that. Just a handful of round tables with cheap school chairs, a single microwave, and a little itty-bitty kitchen from where you could buy frozen meals to heat up. Comparatively, this dining hall was enormous.

There were buffet style food lines in several places, made-to-order grill stations, and several lines with options that required talking to a person over the counter. Drink fountains and utensils were lined up along the far walls. Seats and tables of different lengths and shapes and heights filled the rest of the space. Hundreds of people were sitting or waiting for their food in the lines. Kazuto looked at me and chuckled.

“Overwhelmed?” he asked.

I numbly nodded.

“Don’t worry, it’s not as scary as it seems,” he said.

He handed his ID card to the woman at the entrance. She swiped it on a machine in front of her and greeted him. I handed her my card, greeting her as she smiled at me. She told us to enjoy our meals. Kazuto grinned and nodded for me to follow him. Since he seemed to know what he wanted, he quickly hopped into a line and snatched up a plate. I followed suit.

“I heard it was chicken alfredo tonight!” he said. “Do you like chicken alfredo?”

I blinked at him.

“S-sorry, never had it,” I said.

He raised his eyebrows.

“Really?” he said. “Neither have I. I’m curious, so that’s what I’m going to try.”

“How did you know what was being served?” I asked.

Smiling, he held up his smartphone.

“Dining hall app!” he said.

I made a mental note to look up what kinds of apps the school had. My smart phone wasn’t the top-selling high-tech machine ever, but it could still host plenty of apps. If they were helpful to school, it made sense to download them. We moved up in the line. Kazuto handed his plate to the woman on the other side and told her what he wanted to eat. She scooped out portions of each thing and then handed the plate off to the next person. I handed her my plate and made a few selections of my own.

When our plates were handed back to us, Kazuto steered me over to the drinks station. He chose water. I went for lemonade. We snatched up some utensils from the bins and I followed him over to a table where several people were sitting.

“Hey! Kazuto!” one girl said.

She waved her hand excitedly.

“Who’s this? Your roommate?” another girl asked.

“Yeah, this is Eugeo!” he said.

I felt a bit embarrassed. I hadn’t realized he already had friends here at the university. He set his plate and drink down and pointed to his friends.

“This is Yuuki Asuna,” he said. “She’s my best friend. She came over from Japan, too! The blonde’s Alice Schuberg, her penpal. And the girl with dyed pink hair is Shinozaki Rika, Asuna’s roommate.”

I almost noted that he’d forgotten someone when she slammed her hand on the table.

“Oi! Kirito! I’m _right_ here!”

“Oh, and that’s Asada Shino, Alice’s roommate,” he said, smirking. “As you can tell, we hit it off instantly!”

“In your dreams, asshole,” she muttered. “Also, quit introducing people last name first. He’s an American. He probably thinks ‘Asada’ is my first name.”

I swallowed.

“I…is Kazuto your _first name?_” I stammered.

The girls, Shino aside, burst into laughter. Kazuto looked rather embarrassed.

“Well, he got my name in the proper American order,” Alice giggled. “C’mon, sit down, Eugeo. Don’t be shy.”

Nodding, I sat my things down and slipped into the empty chair in front of me. Kazuto hurriedly climbed into his and stuffed some of the chicken alfredo in his mouth, probably trying to avoid answering for himself.

“So, Eugeo, what are you going to study?” Rika asked.

I took a swig of my lemonade and prepped myself to answer.

“H-history,” I stammered. “And you?”

She flashed me a proud grin.

“I’m gonna be an art major!” she said. “Asuna’s into poli-sci, Shino’s into criminal justice, and Alice…what are you going to study again?”

Alice frowned and tilted her head.

“I don’t know yet,” she said. “But I’m leaning towards chemistry at the moment. Seems pretty fun.”

Kazuto chased his alfredo down with a large gulp of water. Alice snickered at him and pointed at his cup.

“American soda too sweet for you?” she asked.

“I feel like I missed an incident,” I said, unable to avoid chuckling.

Shino glanced over at Kazuto and shook her head.

“Something is terribly wrong with the Coca-cola over here!” he said. “I refuse to take another sip of it!”

The whole table rang out with laughter at his frustration. Kazuto grumbled and shoveled more food into his mouth. The girls’ attention turned back to me. I shrank back a little. I didn’t want to be put on the spot, but it certainly felt like it was ending up that way.

“Any plans for First Friday?” Rika asked.

I shook my head.

“Should I?” I asked.

She smiled and blinked at Asuna, who in turn rolled her eyes.

“We’re going to a party with some of the upperclassmen,” Rika said.

Producing a small card from her pocket, she placed it on the table and slid it over to me. There was an address written on it.

“This was for Kazuto, but he keeps turning the offer down,” she said. “But maybe you’ll convince him to come be a party guy with us!”

Kazuto huffed.

“I don’t want to be in a crowd of social people sweating on each other!” he insisted.

Shino scoffed.

“You’d rather just sit in your dorm and sweat alone?” she said. “Oh, wait, you can’t—you have a roommate. He’ll probably get tired of your sweaty self.”

“I-I don’t sweat _that_ bad,” he said.

“So, wanna come?” Rika asked me, grinning. “It’ll be lots of fuuuun.”

I bit my lip. I’d heard of college parties to a small degree. I wasn’t sure what I could run into. On one hand, this was a way to make some friends. On the other hand, there might be some questionable behavior going on.

“I’ll go if Eugeo decides to go, how about that?” Kazuto said.

He sounded so matter of fact about it. I blinked down at the address. One try might not hurt.

“Sure, I’ll give it a try,” I said.

Kazuto choked on his water.

“SERIOUSLY?”

“Haha! Kirito has to go!” Rika said.

She reached over and gave me a high-five.

“See you then, boys!” she said.

What on earth had I just gotten us into?


	3. First Class

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: These chapters feel kind of short but I don't know it kind of suits this fic...hmmmmmm.

My alarm went off at six-thirty sharp Monday morning, reminding me that I had a new set of responsibilities starting today. I sat up and went to stretch, when I heard a loud thud beneath me. I leaned over the railing and saw that Kazuto had rolled off of his bed and was face first on the floor, still snoring like nothing had happened. Gazing down at him in disbelief, I shook my head. He was something else.

I slipped out of bed, pulled on some decent-looking clothing, readied myself in the bathroom, and then headed to the dining hall to grab a breakfast. The options, once again, were overwhelming, but unlike dinner, they seemed to remain constant. I selected a waffle and some fruit, downed it in minutes to make sure I got to class on time. There was no time for savoring—class started at eight o’clock sharp and I needed to find my classroom.

The building was a good ten-minute walk from our dormitory. It wasn’t as clearly marked as I’d hoped it would be, so I walked past it the first time, glanced at my little map, and then scurried back to it feeling awkward. I entered the building for my next revelation: the entry-level floor was the second floor, not the first. I had to recalculate where I was in the building before I finally arrived in the right spot. I hurried into the room and selected a seat.

People trickled in after me. It was a general education course, a language class. I’d decided to try my hand at French, since it seemed like a fun language to learn. I was nervous, though, because I’d taken Spanish in high school and while I’d done well, I hadn’t retained a lot of it. I hoped I’d do better with two years of a new language. I pulled out my textbook and flipped through it while I waited. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Hey, stranger.”

I turned around and saw the girl Alice from dinner the other night. I smiled and waved at her.

“I didn’t know you were taking French 101, too,” she said. “Did you take it in high school?”

I shook my head.

“No, did you?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Yep, and I did very poorly,” she said, laughing. “But since I already know some of the basics, I figured it would help my grade. But I’m glad we’re in class together! That means we can be study buddies!”

“Sounds fun,” I said.

She pointed in front of me.

“Looks like the professor’s here,” she said.

I turned my attention back to the front, whipped out a pencil, and prepared to start writing. The professor introduced herself, then went around the room having us say our names and our pronouns. She went over how the class was going to run for the semester, told us what textbook we needed if we didn’t already have it, and gave us a brief run-down of general university policies on cheating, accessibility, and grading. Afterwards, we started on some very basic everyday use phrases in French, and then that was that. We were released a few minutes early.

“I didn’t expect college classes to be like that,” I said.

Alice laughed.

“It’s just the first day,” she said. “Things might get more complex as the semester drags on. I’m sure we’ll be appropriately challenged.”

I nodded and adjusted my backpack on my shoulders.

“So, what’s next for you?” she asked. “I’ve got my first chemistry class at noon.”

I glanced back down at my schedule.

“I’ve got a math class at two,” I said. “Math isn’t my strong suit.”  
Alice smirked and pointed back at my dormitory building.

“Your roommate is pretty good with math,” she said. “And so is Asuna. And I’m pretty decent, since I want to go into chemistry. So, if you ever need any help. We’re all here to help you out. Even if we have to force Kazuto to behave and teach it correctly.”

I nodded enthusiastically.

“I’ll have to take you up on that offer!” I said. “For now, I think I’m going to go back in my room. I need to grab my textbook—just in case.”

She laughed.

“Alright, see you around,” she said.

We waved and parted ways. I headed into the dormitory and climbed up the stairs to get to my room. When I got there, the door was shut and locked, just like I’d left it. I figured that meant that Kazuto had probably left, since if he was awake and in there, he wouldn’t need to keep the door locked. I slipped my key in the lock, twisted it, swung open the door, and then promptly choked on the air entering my lungs.

“K-KAZUTO?!”

Kazuto, who’d been snoozing on the floor still, sprung up from the spot and looked around himself, confused. I blinked down at him, concerned. He smiled at me, waved, and then picked himself up off of the floor. He let out a big yawn as he stretched.

“What are you doing up so early?” he mumbled.

“I had class!” I said. “What are you doing still in bed? Er…on the floor asleep?”

He hummed and glanced over at the clock. His eyes went wide.

“IS IT ALMOST NINE?” he exclaimed.

I nodded numbly.

“I HAVE CLASS IN SEVEN MINUTES!” he shouted.

The next thing I knew, Kazuto was throwing on half of an outfit, snatching up a partially zipped messenger bag, and was flying down the hall at mach speed. I had to laugh at the situation. There was no way he would make it to class in time unless he knew where his classroom and building were already. I sent a silent prayer to the powers that be for him to make it to class on time.

“He never did say why he was still on the floor…” I mumbled.

I supposed I’d have to ask that question later.


	4. Homework Troubles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I spent the majority of the morning pretending I could understand basic definitions of a math thing and I hope I got it right otherwise Eugeo is fucked on his homework-

Homework was homework at any level of education, I decided. For college, it was mostly readings and for some classes, like French or math, there were little problem sheets or activities to turn in. But for something like history—it was _all_ readings. I gave myself a run-down of the syllabus I’d received. There were three papers for the whole semester and one final paper instead of a final exam. This was way different than a high school course.

“Only four grades?” I mumbled.

That meant that botching one could send me straight into the failure zone. It made me nervous. My grades all swung on four papers here, whereas for math, I had a homework assignment every class. They were each weighted to come together and make a significant portion of my grade on top of tests and quizzes taken in-class. This level of variation between courses had my head swimming. High school was all cookie cutter things—homework, tests, quizzes, and in-class participation. College seemed like a pick and choose grab bag by professors.

“Hey, what all do you have due for your next classes?” I asked.

Kazuto blinked up from his computer and grinned over at me.

“I’m playing Minecraft,” he said.

I frowned.

“Don’t you…uh…have homework?” I asked.

He shrugged.

“I did it already,” he said.

“How!” I exclaimed.

He gave me another grin.

“I didn’t have all that much to do,” he admitted. “Your classes seem to have way more to do than mine. It’s mostly readings, which you can skim if you need to, since it’s all stuff that will probably be discussed in class, right?”

He was banking this on a maybe. How did he know skimming was okay? The studious nature in my soul was unsettled by his rather lax behavior. From what I understood, though, it wasn’t like Kazuto was a bad student. His grades were exceptional, if Asuna and the others were to be believed. I drew in a deep breath and let out a sigh. I’d have to just wait and see. It was time for a change of topic.

“So, how good are you at math?” I asked.

Kazuto turned away from his computer again, staring at me curiously.

“Pretty good, why?” he asked.

“The highest math I took was Calculus AB, but it’s just because my high school counselor said it would make me more appealing to universities,” I said. “I don’t really have a good grasp of math. Would you possibly be able to help me out with this?”

I tapped the textbook in front of me. I hadn’t known anything about how to select the right quantitative reasoning courses in college, so I’d just picked a lower-level math course. It turned out to be precalculus, which shouldn’t have been too much of an issue for someone who’d taken a calculus course in high school, but math was one of those courses I worked hard to pass but didn’t really internalize.

“What’s your work on right now?” he asked.

He slipped out of his desk chair and came over to look at my textbook from over my shoulder. I turned my head to look at him and realized he was really close. I made a small noise of surprise. It didn’t faze him in the least. He squinted and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Polynomials, huh?” he said. “What’s got you confused?”  
I let out a stressed sigh.

“All of it,” I said. “The definition feels so vague. It’s something with constants, variables, and exponents that can be combined using addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division.”

Kazuto nodded.

“Right,” he said. “So, think of it as little individual parts. Replace the numbers with, say, types of fruits. And the variables with something like different colors of pencils. Then the exponents with, uh…types of pasta.”

I frowned at him. He put up his hands.

“I’m getting there,” he said. “Now, you can add or subtract these things, or multiply them together kinda however you like. But, you can’t divide a fruit by a pencil.”

I blinked at him.

“Okay, forget the fruit and the pencils and all that,” he said. “All it’s saying is that you have three things you can combine in four ways, but you can’t divide them by, say, _x_. And your exponents can’t be negatives. And the set of things has to be finite, meaning it can’t just continue on and on and on forever.”

I slowly nodded. This definitely made more sense than fruits and pencils and pasta. I hurriedly scribbled down what he was saying.

“That’s pretty much it,” he said. “Don’t try to make it more complicated than it is.”

I tilted my head at him.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He smiled.

“This is just a gen ed class for you, right?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Right, so you don’t have to take to heart or really strongly apply yourself to it if you’re not going to be a math major,” he said. “You want to be a history major, so while you need to pass this course and do well for your GPA’s sake, you don’t need to become an expert on precalc. Just look at things as simply as possible and solve them. If you don’t need a definition for polynomials, just focus on solving them. If you need a definition, put it in the simplest terms you can and just go with that. No need to stress over it.”

I smiled at him.

“You sound like you’ve done college before,” I said, laughing.

He laughed back at me.

“Ah, you’re funny,” he said. “It’s just a tip I learned from my parents. Unless it’s the field you need to apply yourself to, don’t stress over getting it or not. Just worry about memorization over comprehension. It’ll save you a headache in the long run.”

I stared back down at the textbook. My parents had always insisted that I know things. Everything had to be committed to memory and well-understood, even if they didn’t want me to run off to college in the end. Now that Kazuto was putting it this way, I could take a less stressful approach to college than I had with any other level of education thus far. I smiled and nodded my head.

“Got it,” I said.

Kazuto clapped his hands.

“Alright, Eugeo!” he said. “Tackle that homework!”

I gave him a smirk.

“You, too,” I said.

He practically wilted on the spot. Ah, so he _did_ have homework to do. As he dragged himself back over to his desk, he grumbled and pulled out some folders from his bag to start on the homework he’d pretended he didn’t have. I chuckled to myself and started back on my math problems. Maybe I’d just have to keep him in line.


	5. First Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Somewhere along the way I was really inspired to put this scene into words and this chapter is so friggin long. Oops. I hope you enjoy it.

As promised, I would attend my first college party rather soon in my college career—by accompanying Kazuto, Asuna, Alice, Shino, and Rika to a party at the house of some upperclassmen. They called the occasion “First Friday.” It was apparently a big deal to do something special for the first Friday of a semester. I wasn’t feeling very sure about this. Being from a small town in the middle of nowhere with such a strict family, taking a night off to party with a big, unpredictable crowd did not fit my style very much.

Staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, I straightened out the collar of my plaid shirt and tried to smile back at my reflection. Kazuto poked his head in and started laughing. I frowned at him. I didn’t see what was so funny about this. He walked over to me and started unbuttoning my shirt.

“Wh-what are you doing?!” I exclaimed.

I felt embarrassed.

“What are you blushing for?” he said, chuckling. “You shouldn’t wear your shirt all buttoned up and stiff to a party. Let it hang loose like this.”

He finished undoing all of the buttons and flipped both my shirt and white undershirt out, letting them hang loosely over my khaki pants. He then reached up and tousled my hair a bit, making it look rather messy. He hummed, then eyeballed my belt. I put a hand over it, giving him a serious look.

“No way in hell am I removing that,” I said.

Kazuto shrugged and left it at that.

“Why are you worried about my appearance anyways?” I asked. “I don’t see you in an untucked button up shirt.”

He grinned.

“I’m going to do a short-sleeved dress shirt, unbuttoned like yours, with a red undershirt,” he said. “And probably some jeans. Should I lose the belt?”  
I shook my head.

“Absolutely not!” I said. “Sagging pants is not cool.”

He chuckled at my response and ducked back into the room to get ready. Neither of us seemed the type for this sort of event. After only a week as his roommate, I’d realized that while he was very friendly and social when approached, he was actually a bit shyer than expected. He kept to himself when I ran into familiar faces and struck up conversations unless he was directly addressed. The only reason we were both going was the group mentality, I supposed.

“Why _are_ we agreeing to this?” I muttered.

Kazuto poked his head back in, grinning.

“Maybe you’ll pick up a hot date!” he said.

I rolled my eyes.

“I need to focus on my education at the moment,” I said. “I shouldn’t be thinking about picking up dates or anything.”

He didn’t seem convinced. He wandered into the bathroom and placed an arm around my shoulders, grinning as he looked at me in the mirror.

“You’ve got the brains and I already know you’ve got the focus,” he said. “If you hit it off with someone, well, I think you should take that chance! You’re a good-looking guy, after all! I’m sure ladies will fall all over you!”

I elbowed him in the stomach. He let out a distressed gasp and doubled over on himself. I chuckled.

“Flattering,” I said. “Are you ready?”

He shook his head.

“You’re forgetting the essential part!” he said.

I frowned.

“I’m dressed and my wallet and room key are in my pocket,” I said. “What else could I possibly be forget—”

The words hadn’t even left my mouth by the time Kazuto was spraying me with some cologne or other. I gasped and waved my hands around. Where had he even found something like this? It smelled fairly decent, but I wasn’t trying to smell anything but clean. I was helpless before his shenanigans for now. I’d have to get back at him later.

Since freshmen weren’t allowed to have cars, we walked as a group to the party. Alice and Rika seemed to be the most into attending a party, while the rest of us were coming along for friendly support. I’d already told myself to give it a try. I might find that I enjoyed a party environment. But that thought melted away almost as soon as I entered the door.

Music was loud, people were loud. The rooms were dimly lit, and people were walking around with drinks and snacks. Some students were wearing rather skimpy clothing, while others looked to be about as dress-casual as we were. Alice and Rika jumped right into the fray, squealing with delight. Asuna contemplated it a bit before she mingled with a few strangers herself. Kazuto, Shino, and I parked ourselves by a snack spread, awkwardly eyeballing refreshments.

“What was all that about picking up a hot date?” I said, shooting a glance at Kazuto.

He hummed, as if he hadn’t heard me, and then poured all three of us a cup of punch. We thanked him and took our drinks. Shino took a tentative sip, curled up her nose a little, but then drank a little more of it. Kazuto swallowed about half of the cup furrowed his brow, but then shrugged and took another sip. He refilled his cup.

“Does it taste funny?” I asked, looking at them.

Shino just shook her head. Kazuto chuckled and told me it didn’t. I frowned and took a sip. An intense, unfamiliar flavor met my tongue. It almost reminded me of the scent of rubbing alcohol. I spat it back into my cup. Both Shino and Kazuto laughed.

“Did someone dump—” I started.

“Yeah, it’s spiked,” Shino clarified. “I figured as much. I think I’ll finish this and get some water. I don’t feel like throwing up in the morning.”

She took another sip, as if it were perfectly normal. Weren’t we underage? Wasn’t this illegal? Neither of them seemed to care. In fact, Kazuto appeared to be on his third cup. He leaned over to me and grinned.

“It’s a Saturday night,” he said. “If you’re going to experiment, now’s the time to do it.”

Shino blinked at him.

“It’s Friday, stupid,” she said.

Kazuto just laughed.

“Right, right, you know what I meant,” he said. “Come on, Eugeo. Chug it.”

I swallowed.

“You want me to break the law?” I said.

They both shook their head.

“It’s not technically illegal to drink under twenty-one,” she said. “My parents always give me champagne on New Years’ Eve, after all. It’s just illegal to purchase it as a minor. I don’t suggest getting drunk, but you’re not breaking any rules by trying some.”

She was speaking to me, but her warning eyes were focused on Kazuto. He chuckled and finished up his cup. I stared down at the beverage and felt a knot in my stomach. My parents would totally kill me if I drank this. But I was here to get away from their tight grasp and live my own life the way I wanted to. I drew in a deep breath and put the cup up to my lips and dumped it down my throat.

“Whoa, he just sucked it right down!” Kazuto said, poking me in the ribs.

The alcohol burned my throat. Maybe I just wasn’t used to it. It tasted horrible. I thought maybe I’d stop there. However, Kazuto now knew I would swallow it. It was all over from that point. He challenged me to see who could down more than the other and not throw up. I don’t know why I got a sudden urge to out-do him and went for it. A few of the upperclassmen saw us and ended up tossing us more drinks to keep the competition going.

It didn’t take too long before my legs started to feel wobbly from standing up. I leaned over on the table and held my head with one hand. The room was swimming a bit. I thought my next motion would be to fall over, but Kazuto reached over and grasped my hands. He pulled me against him and spun in a circle.

“Dance with me, Eugeo!” he said, laughing like an idiot.

_Oh, he’s drunk…_I thought to myself with a giggle.

He must have taken that giggle to mean I wanted to dance. I couldn’t tell my left from my right, though. It just felt so dizzying. The only thing I could focus on was his face. He was smiling so brightly, all worries and shyness forgotten. He spun us around a few times and then playfully dipped me down. I thought I was going to fall, so I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me back up and cupped my face with his hand.

“Don’ worry…I got’chu…” he slurred.

Kazuto leaned his face forwards. I felt heat in my cheeks. What was he doing? His forehead bumped against mine. His motor control wasn’t as fine as I’d presumed it to be right now. I could smell the cologne he’d sprayed on us earlier. I put my hand on his chest to push him back, laughing, but then he did something quite unexpected. He pulled me closer by the cheek and slipped his lips into mine, kissing me as one might kiss a lover. I was so shocked I couldn’t even move.

The group around us all went dead silent. No one had expected the two freshman boys to get drunk and then kiss, of course. I panicked, knowing that all eyes were on us, and shoved him off of me. Kazuto blinked a little, realizing what he’d done. He yelped, covered his mouth, and then staggered back over to the table. I turned around and snatched up a nearby bottle that I thought was mine and dumped more down my throat. The embarrassment would go away if I blacked out, right?

“What are you two idiots doing?”

I swiveled around and saw three Shino’s and two Asuna’s staring over at us. Alice and Rika were still nowhere to be seen. I took a step forward. Everything tilted sideways. My head came in contact with the floor. The room burst out into laughter, probably relieved that something had happened to break the tension. I waved my hand around, trying to find something to pick myself up with, like a table ledge or someone’s hand. But Kazuto, still delirious as ever, walked over and swooped me up in his arms like a couple in a chick flick.

“No…what are you doing…?” I whined.

“We’re…going back to the dorm…” he muttered.

I don’t recall how far we got with him so drunk and carrying me. At some point, I passed out in his arms. When my eyes opened again, I was back in the dorm, flat on my face on the floor. I groaned and looked at my phone next to me to check the time. Ten in the morning.

“I’m such an idiot…” I groaned.

When I stood up, I had to dash to the bathroom to empty my stomach. My head was screaming with an awful headache. I finished throwing up and dragged myself over to the sink to wash up. I splashed my face with water and brushed my teeth. I stopped and stared in the mirror for a moment, touching my fingers to my lips. I glanced at the door leading into the bedroom. I went and stood in the threshold, staring over at Kazuto, still passed out on his face on the floor. I traced my lips with my finger and felt something tight in my chest and hot in my face.

“That was my first kiss…” I muttered. “Idiot.”


	6. I'm Not a Rule-Breaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't know what happened my hand slipped-

“I’m sorry.”

The voice came from behind me as I furiously typed up a written assignment on my laptop, refusing to turn around. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. Now that we were both sober and I could recall the whole thing, I still didn’t know what to say. Did he kiss just whoever was closest to him when he was drunk? Or was there something more to this? I felt something in my chest going nuts.

Oh, right.

That was my heart racing.

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry, Eugeo?”

My fingers sped up. I wasn’t even focusing on the report anymore. I was just typing to type. I was sure he could see that. It wasn’t like I was making a point to hide the computer screen from him. I just didn’t know what to say. What would I feel when I turned around and finally locked eyes with him? I swallowed and tried to focus on typing something—anything—to get my mind off of the way his lips felt against mine.

“Eugeo, come on…”

I felt him place his hand on my shoulder. I jumped a little, yelped, and finally turned around to face him. I kept my eyes focused on his feet. I realized that he was, idiotically, wearing one shoe and the other foot was bare. He hadn’t changed his clothes from what he’d woken up in, had he? A sound caught in his throat.

“Are you that upset?” he asked.

Biting my lip, I shook my head.

“It’s not that,” I said.

Kazuto sighed.

“Then what is it?” he asked. “That’s the first thing you’ve said to me all morning. Look, I’m sorry I got a little carried away. I’m sorry I talked you into getting drunk. I’m sorry I acted like an idiot, and I’m sorry I kissed you so abruptly and all.”

My stomach suddenly turned into a total mess. The tight feeling returned to my chest. My face felt hot and my limbs started to get weak. What on Earth was the matter with me? I couldn’t look him in the eyes right now. I was too scared he’d kiss me again. Or was it fear at all?

“Oh…oh my god…” Kazuto said. “That was…that was your first kiss.”

I swallowed and nodded.

“Your first kiss was a drunk one…” he mumbled.

He staggered back away from me and then plopped down onto his bed. I finally willed myself to look at him. He was covering up his face with his hands and staring down at the floor by the look of it. I tapped my finger against the back of my chair nervously.

“I’m so sorry,” he said again.

Something inside of me stepped way out of line to respond.

“Don’t be,” I said.

His head snapped upright. I yelped, realizing that our eyes finally met. His brow furrowed.

“You’re…really…_really_ red,” he commented. “Is it…embarrassing?”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. He stood back up and walked back over to me. In the process, he kicked the one shoe off of his foot. I followed it with my eyes, and then I looked up at him. He was really close again. I sucked in my breath.

“I…I…I just…I’d rather…not be drunk…when I received…a…I…”

Kazuto nodded as I stammered. He took a step forward, grasped my shoulder, cupped my cheek with his palm, then smoothly slid his hand around the back of my head, firmly holding me. I felt my heart leap into my mouth as he leaned forward and parted his lips just slightly. Those soft, smooth lips that had embraced mine last night in a moment of drunken passion were now approaching me again, this time fully aware of what they were doing.

Did I want this? I wasn’t sure. I was curious. My body was screaming in an unfamiliar way. It felt like I was on fire, but the sensation was oddly pleasant. As I felt the pressure of his lips against mine, euphoria took over. What was this? I couldn’t possibly still be drunk. I barely knew this guy. What on Earth was I doing? I realized I was gripping the back of the chair tightly and let go of it.

I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Kazuto went to remove his lips, and I panicked. I shoved my mouth back into his. He made a surprised sound. I reached my arms forward, still unsure. I wrapped the first one around his torso. The second one hovered for a moment a bit lower, and then I slipped it around him to grasp him with it as well. I felt embarrassed when I realized I’d placed my hand on his ass.

“I-I’m…” I stammered.

It was Kazuto’s turn to be shocked. Now that I was looking at the situation, he’d probably just meant to correct that first kiss, but I’d just gone and turned it up a notch without even meaning to. His cheeks were burning bright red now, too. He glanced to the right over at the door. I glanced behind me. It was locked.

“Are you okay with this?” he mumbled.

I drew in a deep breath.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know why I feel so mixed up; I just know that I want to kiss you again.”

What the hell was coming out of my mouth? Kazuto and I turned our heads to look back at each other. He gave me a half-smile and nodded at me.

“Yeah…I want to kiss you again, too.”

The hand on my shoulder dropped down and suddenly grasped the collar of my shirt, pulling me against his body for another kiss. Something completely inexplicable had come over us. Our lips barely parted for what felt like an eternity. So, this is what kissing was? It felt so good. I had no prior experience, but if it felt _this_ good, he must have been a good kisser. I grasped his body tighter and we stumbled back a few feet, bumping into the bed. Our bodies fell onto it, Kazuto’s flat on the bed and mine on top of his.

Kazuto then did something that made my whole body shudder. He was rubbing his leg against the inside of mine. A small voice in the back of my head told me this was completely out of line. Logically, I should be doing my homework and focusing on school. But the will to step out of the strict confines of my own upbringing had weakened after one dare to a round of drinks. Was I okay with breaking my parents’ trust like this? I sat up, gasping at myself.

My legs were straddling his waist. I swallowed and looked down at Kazuto. He took his hand and gently rubbed it against the inside of my thigh. I felt my eyes wanting to close. This was my life, wasn’t it? I could do what I wanted to for a break, couldn’t I? I leaned back down and held myself over him, hovering as I gave him another kiss.

“What’s going through your head?” he asked. “This isn’t like you, Eugeo.”

I shut him up for a moment with a kiss as I thought about what to say.

“Just let me misbehave for one day,” I whispered.

He smirked up at me. I felt his hands reach up to my belt.

“May I, then?” he asked.

Everything in me was telling me to go back to my desk and be responsible. I’d never even thought about having sex with someone before. This wasn’t the time or the place. Yet I was too caught up in the moment to think about how fast this was going. I thought about the disapproving glares on my family’s faces as I’d gone off to live my own life. So far, I’d still fallen in line with what they wanted.

No more of that. I nodded at Kazuto.

“Yeah,” I said. “Let’s do it.”

I lost my virginity exactly a week after I’d started college. It happened in my own dorm, with my roommate, after a questionable drunken kiss. Neither one of us knew what the hell we were doing at the time, but I think we both agreed that it was good sex for a first time. I don’t think it dawned on us what had happened that day until we woke up after dark, completely naked and tangled up on top of one another.

We jumped apart, both mortified and embarrassed. I think it clicked in our brains that we’d just done that, without any prompting or love confessions or anything of that sort. We hurriedly pulled some clothes on, avoiding eye contact for a moment out of embarrassment, and then we sat down on the bed, staring down at the floor for a moment.

“Don’t tell the others,” I said.

Kazuto mimed zipping his lips and tossing away the key.

“Not a word,” he said, nodding.

There was an awkward pause.

“I think…we need to start over from the top,” I said.

He looked over at me, his expression unreadable. I turned to face him.

“We’ve known each other for a week,” I said. “And now we’ve kissed, danced, and slept together. In the span of a week. We didn’t even bother hitting the friends stage properly yet…”

He hummed.

“How about this?” he said. “We work on getting to know each other better. We see how it works, see if we might be compatible for a relationship. And, if you want, we can keep a ‘friends with benefits’ thing going.”

I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Friends with benefits?” I repeated.

Kazuto nodded.

“Er, yeah,” he said. “You know. Since we. Kinda. Already. Did it.”

Taking a deep breath, I nodded as well.

“Right,” I said. “That could work. Emotionally, we take things slow. And if we feel the need, we just do it. No one has to know.”

He chuckled.

“Exactly,” he said.

And so began the first step in a very complicated relationship adventure with Kazuto Kirigaya.


	7. As If It Were the First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well this was a fun write! I'm posting right before I enter a tutoring session, let's hope I remember to clear my paste before I go. xD

Keeping our “friends with benefits” status a secret was a lot harder than I think I’d been expecting. We’d decided that we’d give each other until the middle of the semester to decide if we wanted to formally date, so on the surface, where everyone was seeing us, we looked like a couple of roommates slowly becoming friends. But beneath that surface, the undeniable truth was that we now viewed one another in a very specific, very difficult to ignore way.

Perhaps I should be more blunt and admit that I was a bit self-conscious about my physical reactions to seeing Kazuto. As well as I could play off the “just friends” bit, it was undeniable that a particular sensation frequently ran through my body like lightning when I saw him. He would do something like stretch, and then I would see his midriff peeking out from under his shirt, and then I’d hold my breath and hope that the rest of the group could not tell that staring at Kazuto’s midriff made me incredibly horny.

It wasn’t the only concern, of course. Sometimes, amidst a pause in our day to relieve our sexual tension, we would wind up switching shirts or belts. Maybe Alice didn’t notice a boner, but she sure as hell spotted a shirt swap immediately. The first time it happened, we just played it off as a curiosity whether we looked good in the other’s shirt. But after a few slip-ups, we were starting to pay very close attention to what shirt we grabbed after we had sex.

The biggest issue, however, was that we’d get asked about what we did over a certain period of time. The answer would, naturally, be “each other,” but since we weren’t announcing that to anyone, we had to come up with an answer that lied about our activities for that span of time. Kazuto was a lot better at lying than I was—it often made me wonder what kind of a child he’d been. He always had a natural, casual response, and it didn’t ever sound forced. I, on the other hand, would stutter a bit when I lied. I finally had to come to a decision.

“What are you trying to say, Eugeo?” Kazuto asked. “You want to go public with this?”

I grimaced and shook my head.

“No…no, I just,” I mumbled, staring up at the ceiling. “Maybe it’s time to tell them there’s _something_ between us.”

As if to intentionally distract me, Kazuto casually unzipped my pants and started to mess with me. I gasped and swatted at him. He just laughed.

“I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you,” I said. “Don’t just make a grab for my—”

He pushed me over onto the bed.

“Are you trying to ask me out?” he asked.

I swallowed. Was I? In order to tell the group that something was happening between us, it would have to be an admission that we were dating. It was the only way to handle this without explicitly telling the group that we were having sex. I sighed and tried to think it over in my head. How did I feel about Kazuto?

“I-It’s clear that we feel something for one another,” I said. “Maybe we should try a date out. We know one another better now and know that we’re sexually compatible, so…”

I trailed off. Maybe I wasn’t making any sense to him. My heart felt a bit tight thinking about that. I wasn’t sure why it almost felt painful to think of Kazuto feeling we weren’t compatible. Perhaps it meant that I really did feel something for him. Whatever this fling was, I didn’t want it to end. I couldn’t help it that he occupied my thoughts every day. Things like this were bound to occur when we were having sexual relations this frequently.

“A date sounds nice,” Kazuto said, smiling softly.

It was a rare thing to see. Usually, he had this shit-eating grin plastered across his face when he wasn’t actively trying to be attractive. And when he was trying, his sexy expressions looked quite different than this gentle smile he was sharing with me now. This one felt more like a breath of fresh air. I instinctively found myself leaning forward; the desire to kiss him was rather intense. He seemed to feel it, too, because he pushed me back down, laying over my body, and slipped his lips into mine.

I wrapped my arms around him and drank up the kiss. There was something indescribably warm and different about this kiss. Before, our touches had been greedy and lustful. This embrace felt like something new. I wondered to myself if all along I’d been truly falling for him. Did falling happen so fast? I pressed my right hand more firmly against the small of his back. I felt his hands come to hold each side of my head. His right thumb gently stroked my cheek.

I focused on Kazuto and felt the way his body was pressed against mine. I noticed the way his bangs brushed against mine on my forehead, mingling together as if they belonged to the same head of hair. I treasured the sensation of his bare chest against mine and the way our skin contact felt warm, smooth, and natural. I tasted his lips and his tongue, noting that it was a flavor unique to Kazuto that I’d tasted nowhere else. I enjoyed the sensation of his thumb brushing across my cheek.

Could I call this love?

Two human beings who had first found passion through sexual attraction, could they truly love one another? The question filled my stomach with nervous butterflies. I wanted to say that, in every aspect of the word, I loved Kazuto. It still seemed rather silly, though. Here we were, lying on a bed. He wore nothing but his boxers, and I was shirtless with my pants undone. We had not said “I love you” to the other. It was always sexual. But this felt nice, too.

“I feel like I just kissed you for the first time,” I mumbled.

A puff of air tickled my face. Was he laughing?

“Maybe we have,” he said.

Our lips met again. Something in me wanted to cry. It wasn’t out of sadness; was it joy that I felt bubbling up in my chest? I found myself trying to cling to him even tighter. He laughed and picked me up into his arms, holding me there, hovering just above the bed. Our kiss was deep and passionate this time, not nearly as gentle as the last. I felt caught up in the moment, feeling my emotions start to burst—

Something by the door fell to the ground and clattered across the floor. Kazuto and I slowly pulled apart, glanced at one another, and then both turned our attention to the now open door. Panic leapt into my mouth as I realized the crucial thing we’d forgotten to do: lock the door. There stood Alice, mouth agape as she stared over at us.

“K…Kazuto?” she stammered. “Eugeo?”

Her eyes dropped down.

And I was suddenly very aware that my pants were unzipped, and she could see more than I’d hoped for. Alice quickly covered her eyes.

“Oh…my god,” she said.

I quickly righted myself, made sure my crotch was fully covered, and then jumped to my own defense.

“Alice, I can explain!” I exclaimed.

She shook her head and started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Kazuto asked.

She grinned and removed her hand.

“I fucking _knew_ it.”


End file.
